Saint Gemma Galgani. Diary

– Today I believed I was free from that ugly beast, but on the contrary it has called me much. I wanted to sleep, but it began with such blows, that I thought I would die. It appeared as a big black dog, and it put its legs on my shoulders; it hurt me very much. Sometimes I think it is breaking my bones; sometime ago while taking the Saint water, it hurt my arm so strongly that I fell to the ground and then it took the bone out of its place, where it returned very soon, because Jesus touched me.

– Yesterday all happened as usual: I went to sleep, but the demon did not want it. It appeared to me in filth way, it tempted me, but I was strong. I asked Jesus on my own to make me die rather than offending Him. What a terrible temptations are those! I dislike all temptations, but those against the Saint purity are so bad for me! Then my Guardian Angel came and calmed me: it assured me that I had not done any bad action. Sometimes I complain, because I would want that it helped me in some moments, and it tells me, that it is always over me, even if I do not see it; indeed yesterday, because the Most Holy Painful Mary helped me and I was very strong, it promised that Jesus would come to see me in the evening.

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– On this Friday I suffered much more, because I was obliged to do some housework, and at each movement I believed to die. Indeed my aunt had asked me to take some water: it was very hard work, it seemed to me (but it was just my idea) that all the thorns pierced my brain, and a drop of blood came out of my temples. I cleaned it up quickly and she hardly noticed it. She asked if I had fallen and hurt my head; I said that I had scratched myself with the chain of the sink. Later I went to the nuns; it was ten o’ clock and I staid with them until five o’ clock. Then I came back home, but Jesus had already removed everything.

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* Then quieted me; it seated down beside me and told me: “Or daughter, do not you know that you must comply completely with the life of Jesus? He suffered so much for you, and do not you know that you must suffer for him on any occasion? And then why do you give such displeasure to Jesus, as you do not meditate on the Passion every day?”. It was true: I remembered that I meditate on the Passion just on Friday and on Thursday. “You must make it every day, remember”. Then it told me: “Courage, courage! This world is not the place for the rest: the rest will be after the death; now you must suffer, and suffer everything, in order to prevent the eternal death to some souls”. I prayed it so much to ask my Mother to come to me for a while, as I had many things to tell Her; it said: yes. But She did not come this evening.

I went to bed; soon I was asleep and a very little man, covered by black hair, appeared to me. What a fright! He put his hands on my bed; I thought he wanted to beat me. “No”, he said, “I cannot hurt you, do not be afraid”, and when talking he was growing. I called Jesus for help, but He did not come. After calling His name however, I felt free.

* I had finished the prayers: I went to bed. When it was allowed by Jesus, it returned; it asked me: “How long have you not prayed for the souls in the Purgatory? “Every small pain gives them a relief; also yesterday and today, if you had offered a little for them”. But I wondered: “do the body pains give relief to the souls in the Purgatory?”. “Yes”, it said; “Yes, daughter: the smallest suffering releases them”. I promised that from that moment I would offer everything for them.

* It was about half past nine, I was reading: suddenly a hand touches my left shoulder. I turn round, I was afraid, I wanted to call for someone, but she stopped me. I saw a white dressed person: a woman; I looked at her, and her look assured: “Gemma”, told me after some minutes, “do you know me?”. I said no; she added: “I am mother Mary Therese of the Little Jesus; I thank you a lot for doing so much so that I can reach my eternal happiness very soon”.

* In those moments my Guardian Angel whispered me: “Mercy of God is infinite”. I quieted. I had headache very soon: it was about ten o’ clock. When I was alone, I went to bed; I suffered a little, but Jesus appeared and showed me that He was suffering Himself too very much. I reminded Him all the sinners, for which He had asked me to offer all my suffering to me to the eternal Father.

* After all that had happened to me, I would have known the meaning of that light, coming from the plagues, in particular from the right hand, with which He blessed me. Mt guardian Angel told me these words: “Daughter, on this day the blessing of Jesus has poured an abundance of graces over you”.

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